Cannibals in Texas and Other Plausible Things

It was one of those days on the Mio, the public transit bus system that carries me south to teach a yoga class every Thursday. The outbound journey was mellow today, but on the return trip, I declined to pack myself in like a sardine with, literally, hundreds of other people on any of the first four double buses (the E21, E31, or T31) stopping to release and absorb passengers like chemicals across a semi-permeable cell membrane.

While waiting for a fifth bus, a diminutive Caleña lady who appeared to be in her 50's started chatting with me, asking which buses went to Chiminangos and if I speak English and if I'm from Europe or North America and which part of the USA, etcetera.

All the normal questions cropped up: How long have you been here? Do you like Cali? How long will you stay?

Eventually, we got on an E21 bus together, and, while standing in the aisle, squished between college students, and desperately trying stay on my feet in the swaying bus, she shared with me that the one place in the USA she's afraid of is Texas because of all the cannibals.

Um...the what?

Cannibals. You know, people who eat people.

Now, every country has its own sayings and expressions, so my initial response was to nod calmly thinking this was a Colombian dicho (a "saying") meaning that people are competitive or prejudiced or something like that. However, I have been in Cali long enough to know that Caleños are capable of believing completely implausible things, so I decided to confirm. I asked, "Es un dicho, verdad?" and with fervor she replied, "No! Es real!"

omg.

Apparently, family members of hers living in the US told her that Texas is full of cannibals and specifically, she told me very seriously and sincerely, the Thompson family of Dallas, Texas (omg! omg!) is known for having buried the remains of hundreds of bodies under their homes.

Sometimes, I feel like the people here live in a parallel universe. This is just the latest example in a long list of incredible things Caleños swear are true. (In future editions: how reading on a bus will make you blind and how to stop the rain using kitchen cutlery. Seriously. Stay tuned...)

While grinning from ear to ear and trying not to laugh out loud, I decided to keep it to myself that I grew up in Dallas, Texas (well, technically in Plano, but close enough) and that my last name is Thompson. I guess if a conversation as coincidental as this one can happen on a crowded Mio bus in a city of 2.5 million people, anything is possible.